It's the end of 2025! I wanted to write about some of the art that had an impact on me this year that I don't tend to talk about much elsewhere on the site, let's get started with an unorganized list of the albums I felt the most touched by over the course of the year.
To Plant a Seed by We Came as Romans (2011)
My earliest memory of the concept of "Gayness" was when I was accused of it for my younger self's crime of liking this album (you see, they literally use autotune and sing about faggot shit like brotherly love). I didn't know the full context of what being called Gay meant at the time, for I was 12 and very sheltered, but through context clues I knew it had something to do with my emotional sincerity, and my (apparently annoying) preference for positivity. Later, in some of our earliest conversations I would bond with my now best friend over this album, and about a year later it would send me it's We Came As Roman's T-Shirt. Well anyway, I'm 27 now and my relationship to all of these concepts and this music has obviously transformed quite a bit, but I still love this album and I'm beginning to suspect that it may have planted some of my theological tendencies. Been listening to it a lot this year and appreciating the way it's timeless sincerity juxtaposes it's very MySpace era textures and song structures. I am very thankful that I got to grow up with this album. Rest in peace Kyle Pavone.
Favorite Track: Beliefs
Does fabrication begin at belief?
This is him speaking through me, this is me speaking to you.
You are forever my brother, Here I struggle with you my brother ^_^
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel (1998)
Another album from my teen years, I knew that this was special from the moment that I heard it but it never properly clicked with me until this year. I have become very symbolically focused over the past couple of years and that was really the key for me in being able to feel fully how powerful this album is. Mangum's belted voice pierces the veil. These words, melodies, intonations, all paint such an expressive and timeless picture of human experience and existentialism. The two headed boy is doing his dance and singing his song, all is breaking and all is right in the broken world.
Favorite Track: Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2
How strange it is to be anything at all.
With the needle that sings in your heart.
But now we must pack up every piece of the life we used to love.
All is breaking everything that you could keep beside.
Know all your enemies. We know who our enemies are.
Brother, see we are one and the same.
Soft silly music is meaningful, magical.
Bend all your notes for me.
Let your skin begin to blend itself with mine.
Saoirse Dream by Saoirse Dream (2025)
I have admired Saoirse Dream's music for many years at this point, she has such a talent for putting together emotionally resonant and perfectly fleshed out pop songs! Collar was my favorite song from her by far before, but this year her self titled album dethroned it multiple times over. This new collection of songs paint a whole picture that feels Very intentional, with choruses that hit like a truck (especially live, my God) and lyrics that wink and nudge at times, without ever emotionally detaching (much harder to pull off than you might think!). Invest in Saoirse Dream stocks NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favorite Track: Down In Flames
I'm not the part of me that's part of me forever :)
Live Laugh Love by Earl Sweatshirt (2025)
I have always admired the feeling of effortless emotional (and literal) complexity in Earl's lyrics and delivery, something about his voice and delivery has always Really worked for me. Ever since 2018's "Some Rap Songs" I've been massively influenced by his experimental beats as well, but this is the first time that I have ever truly loved an album from him. Undoubtedly this is because of the albums central conceit of joy with/on the other side of the pain, which is just so resonant in me. Combine this textual theme with the at times almost mantra-like chanting melodic sensibility and this has lived with me this year ever since it came out.
Favorite Track: INFATUATION
I RELEASED IT!
DANCE!
Violent Femmes by Violent Femmes (1983)
I always knew "Blister in the Sun" was a banger, but I never could have imagined that it came from a pseudo-Christian band. This is an album that I must have given a stab in my early 20s, and I believe I likely wrote them off as a classic irony-lovin' nihilistic and detached gen X band. Apparently this is how many interpret their music! But upon discovering one of their lead singer Gordon Gano's other projects "The Mercy Seat", I was like "hey, wait a minute". So obviously I listened to everything the Femmes ever released (Killer name btw, a lot to live up to). Turns out, this Gano guy had quite the angsty journey with his faith and relationship to sex. I'm not sure if Any of it resonates with me, most of their discography is quite weak, but the way that all of this history recontextualizes their debut finally made it Really click for me. With the blanket ironic label removed, much of these lyrics childlike earnesty is revealed. Thrashy and unplugged and Texturally ridiculously ahead of it's time. Gano's teenage passion and (more often) frustration is base and hard-hitting in it's stupid simplicity and honesty. I especially enjoy his overwhelmed, jittery, and shrieking vocal texture on this album, something unfortunately missing from later albums. Only one question remains: could estrogen have saved her?
Favorite Track: Add It Up
I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record.
They'll hurt me bad, but I don't mind.
Words to memorize, words hypnotize, words make my mouth exercise.
Slugger by DERBY (2025)
Slugger is an indie folk album about loss. Simultaneously carving out and expressing what feels to me like a significant and shared generational sentiment, while remaining deeply vulnerable and personal in it's heartbreak and despair (often uncomfortably, and powerfully so). Dance rhythms feel convulsive and optimism feels desperately clung to for comfort. I am in mourning, I am fearful of the culture of my forefathers, I want more than anything to feel like I can save the world through my own sheer virtue and effort. Can we dance together one last time in the kitchen? The way you refract God has changed me, I feel sick with it. How can I ever move on? Sackcloth and ashes type shit.
Favorite Track: Jenny
Part of my flesh was never mine.
Scratching off the rust, polishing my hands.
You know it's true, but you swallow it down.
It's in my nature to wait for you.
God had something on His soul when they unfurled you.
Make it kind or make it cruel, as long as you’re trying.
SADDEST TRUTH by KayCyy and Sign Crushes Motorist (2025)
If I had to pick an album of the year this would undoubtedly be it. Maybe you can tell that I love music that contains acknowledgements of intense pain, and resolves to repeat affirmational chants! Immediately blew me away when it came out, truly does it's own thing in an ocean of trendy music. Looking the truth of growing up right now in the eye and feeling it all, the betrayal, the grief, and the hope. Opens with powerful magical declarations of intent and uses the strength gained from them to explore the depths of heartbreak, strife and dissatisfaction. Peace in the face of Hell. Contender for the greatest Christian album of all time.
Favorite Track: Make Sure You're Loved
Police in your body.
Who's praying just to hate me?
Bend but dont break, Bend.
Did you save all the kids from the dark?
Whatever the risk, take it.
It's painful but I want to be enough to make sure you know you're loved :)
This is everything, distilled.
Wow wasn't that fun!? Well I had fun, I hope you'll check out some of these albums! Let's move on to GAMING shall we? Well in the world of video gaming, I had a very big year, with repeated major upsets to my favorite games of all time list, as well as my first ever game jam game being released (very exciting, go try it out!) Let's get into it.
Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin (Xbox 360, 2015)
I played Dark Souls as a teen and I enjoyed it quite a bit but it never truly touched my heart. Sure, I recognized that it was exemplary as a mechanical statement piece, and a beautifully well-rounded experience overall but something about it didn't manage to stick to my brain. I have heard that many players tend to bounce off of their first experience with a souls game, so from what I understand I had a somewhat typical progression. Played Dark Souls, didn't quite finish it but enjoyed it well enough, had my childhood best friend try to get me into Dark Souls 3, I didn't give a damn about it, I moved on with my life. If you know the typical arc you'll know that this is the part where I try a different souls game and it magically unlocks everything for me. Well not exactly, I got really into Hollow Knight for a while. Watched my girlfriend at the time play a few hours of Elden Ring, thought "eh". Had another, different girlfriend sing the praises of Bloodborne. Eh. I knew these games were Good, but they could not manage to hook me... but all of that changed one day this year when one of my roommates finally gave me the piece of info that I would need to really, really start to give a damn. She said to me: Fire = Divinity, Dark = Humanity. OH MY GOD!!!! I cannot believe I allowed myself to miss this for so long, I was foolishly following the advice of my childhood friend who said "yeah who cares, the lore is cool but like it doesn't matter. just get the big sword and get good." SCREW YOU DUDE IT SO MATTERS! Well anyway, with this symbolic keystone finally lodging itself in my brain I thought hell, Dark Souls 2: Scholar is on sale for the cheap, I'll give it a shot and see what all this symbolism business is really about with my adult brain that can process and interpret games as unified and whole artistic pieces. And God did I adore this game, it hit me at the perfect time. I was in the pit of my despair, craving escapism in a way unusual for me, and it's world and themes really sucked me in and set my brain on fire. Lucatiel's interactions in particular messed me up emotionally, and the dreamlike and metaphorical nature of the world set up by this entries premise just Really got me. The symbol of being "hollow" hits quite different in this one as well. The level design is incredibly satisfying, and I have a feeling that the player expression is some of the best the series has to offer (still gotta get around to Elden Ring, and DS3 though). I used light swords, and dual wielded fire and dark magics to truly maximize my symbolic role-playing dopamine. Come to find out, apparently this game is massively hated for many of the things that I think are brilliant about it from a design standpoint. I believe that this translates to: It commits the crime of not being exactly like the original Dark Souls. I am very grateful that I got to have such a special experience with this game when I did, relatively sheltered from the discourse around it. I love this one so much I 100%ed it and I plan on going back to play the original version of the game (not scholar) soon... I truly believe that every fromsoft souls game that I have ever tried is a 10/10 for it's own very unique reasons, and it hurts me to see so many pitting all of these beautiful women against one another!!! If you got a problem with dark souls 2?? well, you can email me about it okay and we can have a civil chat. mwah.
Bloodborne (PS4, 2015)
After playing DS2 I was HUNGRY for more, so it's bloodborne time. Borrowed my roommates ps4 and devoured this thing over the course of a week. It's as brilliant as everyone says it is, though I'm not sure about the proclamations of it being "far and away the best one". Good lord does this one have symbols and themes though. It may not have emotionally activated me in the way that DS2 did, but I will remember Orphan of Kos for the rest of my life, possibly the most hype moment in gaming of all time??? WITH AURA??? This game is so excellent at pulling you in and feeding you small clues and ideas and smushing and forming them all slowly, feeding this beautiful mystery until suddenly a coherent message is revealed... and it's so striking visually too! There is an immense amount to love in this game and like with DS2 I can't wait to play it again as soon as my heart can take it.
Valkyria Chronicles (PlayStation 3, 2008)
Played the hell out of the PSP sequel when I was but a child. I've been meaning to get around to playing the rest of the series forever and I finally got to this one! Once again, found myself in a pit of my despair. Often that is when I turn to games, and I really wanted some anime war girls with rifles and stuff. This game certainly did the trick, very sweet and heartwarming. I love this series because I grew up with it, it's unique and cute and fun. I don't actually have much to say other than I like it when girls shoot guns and pilot tanks.
Kingdom Hearts 2 (PS2, 2005)
I love you Kingdom Hearts, I gotta be honest though, this is one of my least favorite games in the series. I KNOW I KNOW!!! Hold your tomatoes please, at least wait until I climb my ass into the pillory okay? I was in the mood for the series so I thought I'd give this one another stab and see if I was wrong about it. Well, I don't think that I was! Many of the major criticisms that the series gets as a whole, should in my opinion be squarely placed upon this entry. Let's be real, these people aren't usually actually thinking about BBS or Days or 3D, they're thinking about kh2 and MAYBE kh1. I'm a portable spinoff fan!! SUE ME! Anyway that's enough jester mocking at the barking dogs painting for now. I like Kingdom Hearts 2! I love the organization, I love that we get our first true dive into the madness to come... and well I enjoy seeing the side plot that Days is always referencing. Okay so I'm not done mocking the dogs. Turns out most of my feelings about this game feel like they're centered around how this game is only good in how it relates to the spinoffs. TO ME, this one is the one that feels like an Actual spinoff comparatively. Well anyway, the climax is incredible, there are iconic lines, it's kingdom hearts. It's good as all hell. Leave me alone! Just kidding I love you.
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (PS2, 2004)
Finally got to play this entry with my best friend (we like to talk Yaoi when it comes to these). As always Kojima is a mad genius with a beautiful mind and soul and this game was immensely creative and fun. I loved the gun fetishism, and the beautiful cold war subject matter, and eating little critters and consuming little items. MGS2 is a near impossible act to follow, and this entry certainly does not win any points with me by "giving the Raiden haters what they want", but I still had a great time. It may be my least favorite in the series so far, but it's still perfect in it's own way and better than 90% of everything that has ever released for the PS5 so what can you do.
Final Fantasy XI (PlayStation 2, 2002)
This year my apartment finally got internet that was good enough for us all to play MMO's at once, and it was a beautiful thing. There was a resulting resurgence in playing Final Fantasy XIV, a game that I always wanted to get into (mainly for transexual cultural research) but never quite cracked. What a great opportunity to get into it! Well here's the thing, turns out, our internet upgrade worked out at the Exact same time that they "Updated" the graphics in this PS3 era game, so that it looks virtually no different, but can nevertheless no longer run on my little laptop. BLAST! Well I was a bit pissed off. Luckily, Final Fantasy XI will never die, preserved in beautifully in amber. This is the MMO that finally made the genre click in my brain. Built for the controller thanks to it's original home on the PS2, it's managed to remain an unsolved mystery in many ways. Exploring it's world, it's archaic unflinchingly inconvenient game design, even it's incomplete and disparate wikis, all of it feeds into one of the most unique and rewarding gaming experiences I've ever had. It's absolutely beautiful to this day if you ask me, and it's atmosphere is unmatched. If you like MMO's PLEASE cough up the subscription cost and give it a shot at the very least. I hear there's some sort of public version for the hardcore freaks who want to play the game as it was originally released, without all the quality of life adjustments and xp scaling that was added over the years... forcing you to party up and play it like the real ones did back in the day. I cannot wait to return to the world of Vana'diel for even more atmosphere and delicious self flagellation. PlayOnline is my wife and if you say anything bad about her I will kill you to death.
Final Fantasy XIII (Xbox 360, 2010)
Okay so you may have picked up on a mild to severe contrarian gamer streak that I may naturally have within me. It's in my little black sheep heart I cannot escape it. Well, my reaction to this game will certainly not help that reputation... This game utterly stunned me. I am floored. This is a masterpiece and I CANNOT believe how this game was received. I could go on and on about all of the common critiques for this game and how wrong I think that they are, but instead I will focus on the way it touched me. Once again, the key to my enjoyment of this was in my interfacing with it's symbolism and God does this game work powerfully with symbols. It can be a bit much to take in at first but it congeals into genuinely one of my favorite narrative arcs in any piece of art ever. It feels near impossible to pick a favorite character, because they work So incredibly synergistically. I won't give away too much, but the existential and political aspect of this game is outstanding. The mechanics, which are masterfully put together on their own merits, interlock perfectly with the party and their story. Awen coursing through every aspect. This is my favorite Final Fantasy game and it's very easily one of my favorite games ever made. Please for the love of God play this. Lightning you live in my heart forever.
Baroque (Sega Saturn, 1998)
OH WHAT'S THIS?? OH SORRY THEY'RE JUST HANDING ME A NEW ENVELOPE I'M JUST NOW READING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME. THEY'RE TELLING ME "BAROQUE for sega saturn IS GAME OF THE YEAR 2025!!!" WWHAT AN UPSET WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING. This is my new favorite game ever and I think that it will be quite difficult to dethrone. This was so ahead of it's time that it was largely panned on release, never got properly translated into English, got ported to PS1 and slightly messed up, and was then remade (poorly) for Wii/PS2 and panned Yet Again. Many years of bad luck for our little underdog Baroque! and yet somehow, it has lived on... whether it's within it's bizarre asset flip crossy road ripoff app, or mysterious gifs on Tumblr.com, there is something about this game that refuses to die despite it's relative commercial failure. I believe that that thing, is that everyone secretly knows deep down that it is the most perfect video game ever created, in it's original form, flawless and evocative. This is The Video Game. This is Ludonarrative Harmony, fully realized, and decades ahead of it's peers. I went into this game completely blind, and was completely enveloped by it for a week, trying desperately to pick apart it's beautifully unified mechanical and narrative mystery. It's a killer roguelike with design, art direction, and narrative that are all so good that I think it would justify even haters of the genre to stick it out and try to learn it's cryptic language. You really should go into this game with as little information as possible, so I will leave you with this: Negative emotional experience can be a designed part of art, vital to understanding the emotions that are being communicated by the piece. This is as true in video games as it is in any other artform. Don't go crazy. Don't go crazy. Good luck to you in this beautiful new year my wonderful friends, I'll see you in the Nerve Tower.
(01-01-2026)